Questions to ask your relatives about family history

Names, places and dates

• What is your full name, and were you named after anyone?
• When and where were you born? Was it at home or in a hospital?
• What were your parents’ full names, and where were they from?
• What do you know about your grandparents? Did you ever meet them?
• Did anyone in the family change their name, or spell it differently?
• Which towns and countries has the family lived in, and why did they move?
• Are there family Bibles, letters, certificates or photo albums, and who has them now?

Childhood

• What was the house you grew up in like? Describe your bedroom.
• Who lived with you: grandparents, cousins, lodgers?
• What did your parents do for work?
• What games did you play, and who were your friends?
• What did a normal Sunday look like?
• What did your family eat on special occasions? Are any recipes still around?
• What were you afraid of, and what made you laugh?
• What is your earliest memory?

School and growing up

• Where did you go to school, and how did you get there?
• Which teacher do you remember, and why?
• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• What was your first job, and what did you do with the money?
• What music, films or events do you remember from your teenage years?
• Did you leave home young? Where did you go?

Love, work and family

• How did you meet your partner? What was your first impression?
• Tell me about your wedding, or the day you decided to be together.
• What work did you do for most of your life? What was a typical day?
• Did you serve in the military, or did anyone close to you?
• What was it like when your first child was born?
• Which family traditions did you keep, and which did you start?
• What was the hardest time for the family, and how did you get through it?
• Where were you during the big events of your lifetime?

Later life and reflection

• What are you most proud of?
• What has changed most in the world since you were young?
• Who in the family do you think about most?
• Is there a story about the family that everyone tells? Is it true?
• What do you wish you had asked your own grandparents?
• What would you like your great-grandchildren to know about you?
• Is there anything you’d like to say that we haven’t asked?

How to ask them

• Bring a photo. An old picture unlocks names and stories faster than any question.
• Ask one question at a time and let silences run. The best answers often come after a pause.
• Follow the story, not the list. If an answer opens a door, go through it.
• Ask permission to record, and say who will hear it.
• Keep sessions short, 30 to 45 minutes, and come back another day.

Doing this in Family Trees

Family Trees has interview prompts built into its memory recorder. Open a person’s page in the web app, record a memory in the browser and the recording is kept with that person, so their voice sits next to their photos and dates. On the web you can type out a transcript for the family book (Plus). See recording memories.

Questions

What is the most important question to ask grandparents?

Ask for names and places first: their parents’ and grandparents’ full names, where they were born and where the family lived. Those facts are the hardest to recover later and unlock records for the generations above.

How long should a family history interview be?

Thirty to forty-five minutes is usually enough before people tire. Several short sessions get better stories than one long one, and give you time to bring back photos and follow-up questions.

Should I record the interview?

Yes, with the person’s permission. A recording keeps their voice and the exact words, which notes lose. Tell them who will hear it and let them skip any question.

What if a relative doesn’t want to talk about something?

Respect it and move on. Painful subjects such as war, loss or estrangement can come up later, on their terms. Thank them for what they do share.

Questions? Email support@familytreesapp.com and a person will reply.